


Holidays Kinda Suck (But Kirschsteins Make Them Better)

by c0cunt



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Thanksgiving, death happens in the last chapter, hitman!Connie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-18
Updated: 2015-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-15 10:04:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4602612
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c0cunt/pseuds/c0cunt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Connie never talked about what he would do around the holidays with Jean.  It was an assumption that they would be spent at home.</p>
<p>Mama Kirschstein wants to change that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone thank In_agony_and_ecstasy for dragging me onto the Jeanconnie train.
> 
> I don't even know anymore. I might add a second chapter to this? Who knows! I sure don't!

 

    Jean had been roommates with Connie for five years, (they were dating for two of those) and they had yet to piss each other off. Jean was extremely pleased that they'd lasted so long with his tendency to self sabotage (as well as thanking any deity he could think of that Connie's job hadn't ended him yet). As the winter holidays started to roll around again, he was confronted with something more terrifying than Connie's job: His mother. Mama Kirschstein was a formidable woman, especially when she had her mind set on something. That something being officially meeting her Jeanbo's beau at Thanksgiving. No excuses this year.

    Not wanting to disappoint Mama, but also not knowing how to tell Connie that his presence was demanded this holiday season, Jean was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Connie's job tended to pick up around the holiday season . He rarely had more than two days left to recooperate between jobs, though he felt extremely guilty leaving Jean all by himself for most of the holidays. Which is why Jean adamantly refused to mention it to Connie at all, until the day before Thanksgiving. Thankfully, Connie had just completed one of his missions, and wouldn't be needed for another two or three days. Plenty of time to meet the Kirschstein clan, and be ready to go on the next mission, right?

    Of course, it was only brought up because Connie was wondering what their plans were for Thanksgiving. When it came to food, Connie was completely serious, even if most of the time he barely had the time or energy to make more than a PB&J. A holiday dedicated to stuffing their faces with as much food as humanly (or, in Connie's case, inhumanly) possible demanded preparation, and there was close to nothing in their cabinets.

    "Jean, did you not go food shopping or what?" Connie called, hopping from cabinet to fridge, looking at their meager holiday supplies. A box of instant jello, half a jar of crunchy peanut butter, and a tube of Pringles were all that turned up in his search. Jean watched Connie continue to shuffle around in the cabinets, cheeks flushing because yes he did actually forget to get food this week, thinking he'd be able to bring home more than enough leftovers from Thanksgiving at his mama's place to last him until Connie's mission on the 28th.

    "About that..." Jean began, drumming his fingers incessantly on the counter, before taking a deep breath and spouting out "Mymawantsyoutocometodinnertomorrow."

    Connie took a second to rewind and slow down what Jean had attempted to tell him, slowly putting down the hot chocolate mix he'd unearth from the back of one of their cabinets, thinking. Him, go to a family gathering? The last time Connie had been to any family gathering that wasn't related to his job...He frowned, not wanting to think about it, as he turned to face Jean.

Jean however, took the frown to mean Connie didn't want to go.

    "Don't worry about it, Con, I can tell Mama you got sick or something...You really don't have to go." Jean assured the shorter man, who appeared to be mildly lost in thought. If he had to think about wanting to meet Jean's family...Did that mean he really didn't want to meet them?

    "I've gotta go pack," Jean mumbled, fleeing the suddenly too-small kitchen, not wanting Connie to change his mind for his sake alone. He wanted Connie to go with him BECAUSE he wanted to meet his family, not just to please Jean. He would just have to tell Mama that Connie had gotten sick, or something. Maybe Mama would send him home with more leftovers knowing that? Nodding to himself, he pulled out his phone to start texting Mama, violently ignoring the tears that had dared to claw their way out of his tear ducts without permission. It's not like Connie had asked Jean to meet his family, in all the years they'd known each other...

    Before Jean could unlock his phone, Connie had come out of his thoughts, and was hurrying after him. There was a tight feeling in Connie's chest that he tried in vain to keep from clawing at his heart. He'd kept Jean in the dark long enough about why he got so busy around the holidays. Time for an explaination.

    "Jean, no, wait, you didn't let me even say anything," Connie whined, tugging at the cuff of Jean's shirt to get his attention. He felt even worse when he saw tears shimmying their way down Jean's cheeks. Jean was wrapped in a tight hug, tears wiped away, as Connie walked them backwards into their sofa. Connie better have a damn good reason for not wanting to go, Jean thought, crossing his arms and waiting for him to talk. Or, as was the case when Connie tried to explain himself, babble.

    "I never told you something important, so I guess I'm an asshole for not mentioning it until now, yeah? I mean, we've been roommates for years and dating for a while, and it's not like you ran away when you figured out what my job was, right?" Connie was babbling, and he knew it, Jean knew it too, but it was almost easier to babble instead of actually explain. Taking a deep breath, Connie continued slowly.  
"You know, there's a reason I never talk about celebrating holidays with family...It's not like I would rather work instead of go home, but...They're not there. It has to be, god, eight years now?"

    Jean felt his heart drop into his toes, as Connie continued talking. Connie had no family to go home to for the holidays. That's why he always took on extra work this time of year. How could his happy-go-lucky boyfriend keep that a secret for so long? Had Jean ever even asked about his family? Wracking his brain, Jean was absolutely disgusted with himself for never thinking to ask.  What the hell kind of friend was he, let alone what kind of boyfriend he was, demanding Connie meet his family?

    Connie took a second to breathe, observing Jean. True, he had never asked about Connie's family (probably just assumed Connie didn't have a good relationship with them), but Jean looked truly pained over realizing he'd never once asked about them.  
"But I really wanna try, for you and your family. What time do we have to leave to get there?" He nudged Jean slightly, trying to distract him from wherever his thoughts had dragged him off to. Jean did have a tendency to beat himself up over things that he hadn't asked about, small or big, and Connie wasn't going to let him do that today.  At least, not right now.

    "She wants us there by noon, so we'll have to leave by 8 at the latest." Jean mumbled in a daze, a small goofy smile tugging at his lips. Connie was going to try, for them. Not just because Jean wanted him to. He genuinely wanted to meet his family. Connie grinned back, but a thought struck him suddenly.

    "So, wait...Does your family like, dress formal for Thanksgiving? Should we bring a pie?" Connie asked, eyes widening in horror as he realized just how unprepared he was to meet Jean's family. It'd been years since he'd considered having a family to go home to for the holidays, and he did want to make the best impression possible. Jean felt a knot inside of him loosen up, and laughed loudly at how serious Connie was taking meeting his family. It would be a good feeling, for once, going home for the holiday.

 

"Don't worry 'bout it, babe, they're gonna love you."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!! A chapter!!!!  
>  Reminder that all fluff turns to angst with me as the writer. Y'all are gonna hate me.

 

   Connie couldn't sleep that night, and Jean slept like the dead that night. It was a strange turn of events, to say the least. Usually Jean was the one who was unable to sleep, but Connie's sleeplessness came with a very good reason (at least in his opinion). Connie hadn't met someone's parents formally in years, and had never been brought home as a boyfriend, so he was definitely on edge. Explaining away his job would also probably be stressful...But that wasn't what was keeping Connie up.

   Connie knew Jean loved his mama, and he was terrified of disappointing her expectations of her only child's boyfriend. Connie had spent hours grilling Jean about what he'd mentioned to her about him, but it still didn't feel like he was prepared enough. Every time he had almost become calm enough to fall asleep, he was suddenly hit by another thought to send him into a panic. Shit, what if his mom had made a guess at what Connie's job was and Jean had just said "yeah sure"? Shit, and Connie couldn't even ask Jean now, he was finally sleeping at this point.

   So Connie did the next best thing. He sat awake for hours, mindlessly reading articles online about how to impress your partner's parents. The articles ranged from helpful to mildly disturbing, but Connie ate them all up. That's how Jean found him early the next morning, passed out in front of a wikihow article on impressing parents, and Jean couldn't help laughing slightly. Poor Connie must've been up all night, Jean thought, carefully shutting down the laptop before shaking him awake.

   "C'mon Conman, you got an hour to get ready before we go," Jean said softly, but the quiet words were lost in a high pitched whine that sounded inhuman, straight from Connie. Without so much as a good morning, Connie was off like a shot, hopping into a shower and mumbling about how he wasn't ready at all in any sense. Jean felt blessed that he'd had the foresight to shower before looking for Connie. Halfway through the shower, Connie popped out to start brushing his teeth, now making whimpering noises like a terrified puppy. All Jean could do was cackle at his short boyfriend covered in suds, foaming at the mouth, and running around with panic in his eyes.

   "Con, serious, calm down. I would've thought your job's more scary than meeting my family..." Jean mumbled, catching him around the waist in a hug. If Connie hadn't remembered that Jean was in the apartment, he would've gone flying, and Jean was grateful that Connie at least remembered his presence, even if he tensed up instead of relaxing when he was grabbed. After a second, Connie started laughing hysterically, and that was almost scarier than thinking about being flipped for trying to hug him. Before Jean could ask why he was laughing, Connie twisted into the hug and started whining into Jean's chest.

   "Oh god babe, you don't even know how fucking nervous I am. Your mama's so protective, are they expecting me to be, like, tall and shit? I'm not tall, Jean! I'm short! I mean, yeah, I'm fucking fit, I know that, but shit man! Do they have any idea what my job is? Am I going to be grilled for corruping you? Do they think I'm gonna be a bad influence? Eeeeeeeeeee..."

   While Connie had been babbling, Jean had started drying him off and getting him dressed as best he could. Jean had at least succeeded in getting Connie sufficiently dried, and dressed with boxers by the time Connie was sounding like a deflating balloon. One of Connie's more annoying noises of distress, one that he usually saved for when he wasn't ready to be social.

   "All that I think they expect," Jean started slowly, once again pulling Connie into a hug to stop the damn balloon noises, "Is for you not to have a billion weapons on you. Do you think you can survive with one or two?"

   Connie froze, eyes wide. Not have weapons? But...He needed those! They were his safety net! What if something happened? Jean couldn't expect him to go out unprepared...Except the look in his eyes said just that, and Connie couldn't refuse the pleading look on his face. Nodding, Connie turned away to start dressing himself, critically eyeing their open closet for something to wear.

   Pleased, Jean left him with a reminder that he didn't have to dress up, and went to attempt to rustle up breakfast. Which only led to disappointment, and peanut butter on Pringles as breakfast. God, Mama will kill me for eating all this crap, Jean thought, shoving the spoon back into the jar for Connie to have at, and going to get dressed as well. The duo bumped into each other slightly, Connie catching Jean's lips with his for a second (and humming happily at the taste of peanut butter), before heading in opposite directions. Jean turned his head to watch Connie head to the kitchen to just watch how cute his boyfriend was, almost smacking straight into the door jamb with his distracted walking. Grumbling, Jean threw on the first things he could find (extremely old jeans and one of Connie's old sweatshirts), and went right back out to the kitchen, snorting as Connie dug around the peanut butter jar with a spoon.

   "Alright, are we ready?" Jean asked, snatching up his keys and glancing at the clock. It was just a little after 7:30, they would get to Mama's place with plenty of time to spare. Connie nodded, and bounced towards the door. Jean would've let him go ahead if he didn't hear a distinctive clinking noise.

   "So, how many weapons do you have?" He asked, one eyebrow cocking as Connie let out a nervous whimper. Folding his arms, Jean waited as Connie slowly turned out his pockets...And pulled weapons out of his waistband...And pulled several from his boots...By the time Connie had removed all them from his person, the table in their entryway was overflowing with knives and guns, and Jean was just about howling from laughter at the annoyed scowl that was being thrown in his direction.

 

 

   "We'll put 'em back when we get home, yeah?" Jean said, ushering Connie out the door as he shoved a few knives back into Connie's pockets. Guns were completely unnecessary for his family's get togethers. There'd be plenty of time to put them away, after Connie got Mama's undying approval.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OHHHHHH get ready to hate me.  
> I'm not even sure what this chapter's supposed to be. Setting the scene? Lulling everyone into a false sense of comfort? Who knows!

 

   Okay, so maybe Connie fell asleep on the drive to Mama Kirschstein's place. And maybe he drooled a little onto Jean's heated car seats. Maybe. Not that Jean would ever admit it, but Connie looked absolutely adorable, curled up in his car, and not at all like the professional assassin he was. So Jean let him sleep the entire drive. He needed all the rest he could get, after an almost all-nighter to figure out how to impress Mama. Jean would just wake him when they arrived.

   Jean couldn't help but grin as his mama's house came into view. The previous owner had let them purchase it from them after they had been renting the townhouse for a majority of Jean's life, and it was one of only two places Jean could ever comfortably call "home". The other one being the apartment he shared with Connie.

   "Con, wake up, we're here," Jean sang, shaking the other awake. Connie doesn't like waking up, ever. It's always a very sudden thing, and whomever's usually doing the waking ends up being pinned by his compact form. If he wasn't strapped into the seat, Jean had absolutely no doubt that there would've been a more violent reaction than him just snatching up Jean's wrists and twisting painfully. As Connie blinked himself awake, dropping Jean's captive wrists, Jean continued speaking.

   "Listen, there's something I haven't told you..." He began, and Connie was already wide awake, fearing the worst, especially as Jean kept his eyes downward and chewed on his lip. "Y'see, it's been just me and my mom for a while. Like, a long while. Apparently her side of the family couldn't handle me being bi when I came out, and she got tired of getting phone calls and messages about me going to hell. So they don't speak to us. And of course, daddy dearest hasn't been in the picture since mom had me. So like...It's just Mama you're meeting."

   Jean waited for Connie to say something as he wrapped up his little speech. But Connie always was better at expressing his feelings through actions, and this instance was no different. Unbuckling his seatbelt quickly, Connie slid into Jean's lap, snaking his arms around Jean's torso carefully, like he was delicate china. To Connie, at least, he was; something delicate that he had to keep safe. Mama Kirschstein had to be a force of nature or something, to raise a man like Jean by herself.

   "I really fuckin' hope your mom likes me, man," Connie laughed slightly, sliding out of Jean's lap. Jean flashed him a crooked grin, dragging a hand through his hair to put it back into place. "She's gonna love your scrawny ass, she knows I love it." Jean let out a bark of a laugh at Connie's look of surprise, jumping out of the car before anything more could be said. There was a limit to how much emotion Jean Kirschstein would allow himself to openly express in one day, and he was dangerously close to that limit. Before Connie had scrambled out, the front door to the townhouse opened, framing Mama Kirschstein for a second. A warm smile broke over her tired face.

   "Jeanbo! Finally, you're here! And this must be Connie?" She headed towards the pair, voice pleasantly warbling across the yard faster than her body could move. Forgetting Connie for a moment, Jean lept over to Mama, sweeping her up into a tight hug. Even though Jean made a point to make it home at least once a month, somehow it always felt like an eternity since he'd last seen Mama. When Jean finally released her, she swung around to look at the man that had stolen her son's heart. Connie was too many levels of nervous, his hand twitching up in an awkward cross between a wave and a salute. Mama thought it was absolutely endearing.

   "It's nice to finally meet you Connie. You've been taking good care of my Jeanbo?" She asked, squeezing her son close even as he grumbled at her about not being a baby anymore. Connie nodded solemnly, and Mama grinned as she waved for him to come forward. "Let's go inside, the food's going to get cold if we all just stand out here like a bunch of loons!"

   Connie woodenly walked up the drive and into the townhouse, unsure of just exactly what was expected of him. God, it'd been at least eight years since his own family holidays. Eight years since he became an assassin as vengeance. He still hadn't found the bastards responsible for his family...Connie nearly jumped out of his skin when Jean's hand pressed into his, giving a light squeeze. He was okay. They were okay.

   Mama Kirschstein led the two of them into a small kitchen, the mouth-watering smells of a fantastic Thanksgiving dinner floating around the room. Connie grinned, inhaling deeply. Try as they might, none of their meals ever smelled half as good as Mama Kirschstein's cooking, and Connie made sure to let her know. Apparently Jean got the ability to blush when even the smallest compliment was paid to him from Mama. Connie started to relax slightly. Everything was okay.

 

The three of them paused as the doorbell rang.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, hate me now.
> 
> Also, warning about violence, blood, and death. If you can't handle those things, PLEASE don't read. I'll summarize in the chapter notes at the end if you really want to know what happened that badly.

 

   Connie had a bad feeling. In the split second that it took for Mama Kirschstein and Jean to realize the doorbell rang, to Jean turning back around to answer the door, a bolt of fear had shot through Connie. Jean jokingly wondered if it was a travelling salesman who wanted to join them for dinner. Mama Kirschstein shrugged, reaching for another glass, wondering aloud who their visitors were, as a crash rang from the entryway, coupled with voices that Connie recognized.

   He bolted towards the door, fear and anger making him just a tiny bit more reckless than usual, when he crashed into a familiar lanky body. Strong arms encircled his body, the person's weight and sheer size pressing him harshly to the floor. More shouts echoed around Connie, as he struggled underneath his friend-turned-foe. When a booming laugh filled the room, he sagged underneath his captor, rage burning hot in his belly.

   "Hey Conman, long time no see, eh?" Reiner Braun laughed joivally, dragging Jean in front of him, his massive form almost scraping the walls of the thin hallway. Bertholdt Hoover carefully adjusted how he was holding Connie, taking silent stock of exactly where Connie's weapons were hidden. Annie Leonhardt remained silent, as she usually did, holding Mama Kirschstein almost delicately. Reiner and Annie had guns trained on both Kirschsteins, and Connie was certain that Bertholdt would have one out soon, too. Swallowing down his anger, he tried a pleasant approach.

   "Yeah bro, it's been what, two years? Last I saw of you guys, you were clearing out of Shiganshina." He tried to keep his voice neutral, but it was obvious just how pissed he was. Annie raised an eyebrow at him, and Bertholdt started sweating nervously. None of them were going to touch on what had happened there with a ten-foot pole, especially when their mission directives were changed. Though let the record never show that Annie felt a small twinge of regret for having to abandon her partner at the time. But no one disobeys Commander Zackly's orders. At least, no one alive.

   "You know why we're here. Where is Jaeger?" The tone Annie used was bored, but there was a hint of steel that Connie always had appreciated when they had to do interrogations. He wasn't appreciating it now. Especially not with his boyfriend and his boyfriend's mother being threatend with that voice.

   "Cut the shit, Annie, I haven't seen him since then, just like you guys." He spat, struggling against Bertholdt's grip. Annie laughed softly, readjusting her grip on the woman she held. The movement was obviously for show, and even though Connie recognized it as such, he stopped struggling, glaring at Annie's stupidly impassive face. Just as Annie looked like she was about to speak, there was a grunt and the sound of a scuffle near the entryway.

   Annie huffed in annoyance, glaring at Jean struggling futilely against Reiner's grip, Connie shooting a pleading look in their direction. "We don't have time for this," she growled, annoyance flashing across her face like heat lightning. Reiner raised an eyebrow at Annie, who nodded slightly, turning back to Connie and addressing him once more. "Now, why don't you tell us where Jaeger is? We don't want a repeat of eight years ago, do we?"

   Connie tore his gaze from Jean, staring at Annie. "The fuck do you know about eight years ago?" He snarled, tensing up just enough that Bertholdt adjusted his grip a little tighter around Connie's wrists. Annie rolled her eyes, another nod directed in Reiner's direction. He heaved a sigh as he muttered an apology under his breath, and almost carelessly fired the gun in his hand. Straight through Jean's left shoulder, sending him howling from the pain.

   Mama Kirschstein let out a scream, and attempted to lunge at the large man holding her son. What she would've done if she reached them, it's not very clear. But without even blinking, Annie aimed and fired point blank at the older woman's face. Blood and gore flew, Jean and Connie both screaming (Jean's screams wordless, Connie's curses of hatred for the trio).

   "Fucking hell, you goddamn bitch, she wasn't involved! What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Connie shrieked, nearly throwing off Bertholdt in his mad attempt to get at Annie. Jean was attempting to struggle against Reiner still, blood seeping slowly from his shoulder, the pain preventing him from actually being able to do anything. Annie rolled her eyes at their dramatics, before addressing her boys.

   "He either doesn't know, or he's hiding the truth. Kill the witness and let's go. We have others to question." Her blunt words were almost drowned out by Jean's continued screaming, but Reiner and Bertholdt seemed to hear her command. Connie might not have heard what Annie had said, only having time to see her lips moving, before whipping his head around to see Reiner push Jean down, before another shot rang out. Jean's face hadn't changed from shock yet, and as his body slumped to the ground, it wouldn't have the chance ever again. And it was all Connie's fault.

   Connie wasn't sure what happened in the few precious seconds after the light in Jean's eyes began to fade. All that he knew was that now the trio who had been questioning them were gone, Mama Kirschstein's body was begining to cool, and Connie needed to get to Jean. Connie knew there wasn't any hope to try and save him, even as he collapsed on the floor next to him. Connie didn't know enough medical shit to help, not with this. He was useless, and he had caused their deaths. Exactly like eight years ago...

   "I-I fucking swear, Jean, I'll kill them." Connie sobbed, burying his face into the blond's hair, not caring that Jean's entry wound had smeared blood all across his shirt. "I-I-I...Y-you didn't des-rve that...Mama di-didn't deserve th-that." He pulled the larger man into his lap, feeling for the pulse in his neck. The drumbeat that had lulled Connie to sleep whenever they finally had a night together was gone.

 

 

 

  
   "Y'know, it's almost funny, listening to the poor guy swear vengeance again," Reiner hummed, listening to the audio bug they had left planted on one of the bodies. Annie was driving, nodding her head slightly to some pop song that she couldn't name, and Bertholdt was nervously tapping the mission report out. Bertholdt always typed out the mission report when there wasn't much to actually report. Most of the higher ups felt bad about yelling at him, and they used that to their advantage.

   No sign of Jaeger still. They would have to keep looking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, summary for those who want to know what happened but can't handle the blood/violence/death.
> 
> Connie's former job partner, Annie, along with her current job partners, Reiner and Bertholdt, are on a mission to find Jaeger, who hasn't been seen since the Shiganshina incident two years prior to the events that take place. They'd tracked down Connie to see if he has any information. He knows only as much as they do, Annie alludes to this holiday being like one eight years ago, and the Kirschsteins are killed for seeing too much.
> 
> (Please don't hate me too much, this was honestly going to be fluff)


End file.
